Storytime #4: Never F*ck Your Roommate

Spoiler: 9/10 it probably won’t end well.

A lot of people have roommates in LA: FACT

A lot of people in LA are hot: FACT

A lot of hot people also have hot roommates: FACT 

It's the perfect recipe for a very convenient, very low-key, at home hookup… until emotions get involved.

But let's back it up for a moment:

The last time I wrote I was at the Soho rooftop when a fine man named Miles slid his number to a server to then give to me. I reached out the next day and after a few exchanges he asked me on a date. Straight and to the point: no ongoing conversations made up of carefully crafted messages or room for misinterpretation, simply a screenshot of a 7pm dinner reservation set for next Thursday.

Currently, I'm at Sip & Sonder where I came to work on a couple of articles I successfully pitched to my editor - The Girl's Guide To Going Out Alone and The Art of the Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady. A half an hour of procrastination later, I finally get into the head space to write when my best friend Maya suddenly arrives and plops in the seat across from me.

"Girlllll do I have a story to tell you."

When she first called this morning she said she had groundbreaking news that she couldn't share over the phone. Now in front of me and smoothing out audition sides once crumpled in her tote, she leans in close ready to tell: Apparently after months of ignoring the thick sexual tension between her and her roommate, the two finally gave in. She looks at me with excitement. 

"And girl..." she smiles wide “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

At this point, I shut my laptop and take a sip of my charcoal latte.

“So it's like midnight when I finally get home right and after the week I had? I needed a drink! Wait did I tell you what happened with my boss. Girl he is buggin."

I give her a look: I only have capacity for one storytime at the moment.

“Okay fine so tell my why I get home and walk into the kitchen to get my tequila right; it's late I'm thinking everyone's asleep, but there he was standing in his grey sweats opening up a bottle of wine. He asks if I'd like a glass, I say yes, then one glass becomes two two becomes three eventually we finish his bottle, open mine and then let me just say... thangs went down."

She twists her lips into a smirk, clearly enjoying this recap.  

“So who made the first move?” I ask, curious to know who was bold enough to break the barrier: the unspoken boundary they'd established for all this time.

“Who even knows. We left the kitchen to listen to music in his room and before I know it I’m on top of him my skirt riding up my legs and we're making out. All I really remember is how good his lips felt against mine and how smooth his hands were when he pulled my shirt off over my head and how strong he was when he lifted me up and pinned me against the wall and —“ she stops all of a sudden.

"And?!" I gesture for her to continue.

“Obviously I can't kiss and tell..." she grins. "But yea girl, the best” 

Ooooh. I was excited for her. After the last guy she'd dated, she could definitely use some new to help get her over him, but hooking up with a roommate sounded like a dynamic for disaster.

“So now what?”  

She looks away, towards the artwork on the wall. “I have no clue. I beelined to my room the moment I woke up, showered, got dressed then came here. I'm pretty sure I forgot to put deodorant on."

She looks at me trying to read my face. "You think I made a mistake don't you?"

“A mistake? No...” I say. “But you're definitely playing with fire."

"Well he is a fire sign."

I roll my eyes playfully. "I think you two should just talk, see how he feels."

"Yea you're right...." she ponders the possibilities for a moment when her face shifts with concern. “Unless, oh God, what if he doesn't remember? Or worse he wants to forget or - “

Before she could finish another worst case scenario, her phone vibrates and his name appears on the screen.

“Hey you." She reads aloud. "Will you be home later?”  She looks up at me with a smile forming on her face.

I guess it's only a matter of time before we find out how things plays out. Until next time...