Storytime #6: Advice Column

Five Ways To Know He's Really Just That Into You

I'm at the Hilltop in Downtown LA going through weeks of unread emails for our monthly advice column that's been on hiatus ever since our intern on the job quit to move across the country to be with her boyfriend. After a month of living together, the two broke up and she's now renting a couch on Airbnb for the next foreseeable future.

So here I am, filtering through until we find someone new and it appears the number one question women from all over are writing in to ask about is how to tell if the man they're dating is actually into them. Chances are if you have to ask, he probably isn't - but here are some telltale signs that can help you know for sure:

1. He Compliments You

Hey now, this might seem ridiculous considering it's the bare freaking minimum, but some of us have to start from the basics okay? It don't matter how fine, how funny, or how tall he is, if he's not giving you your flowers (verbally or quite literally), go on and erase his number because he's most likely not that into you. But if he checks the first box, then make sure he also complements you. Does he supports your goals or opens your eyes to new ideas and possibilities? Does he find joy in helping you? If so, this leads us to the next sign...

2. 1-800-HANDY-MAN

Y'all remember Sam from Holes? The one who was always saying "I Can Fix That" to that white lady? That's the type of man who's invested, okay! Because a man who really likes you wants you to make your life easier, simply put. You're having a bad day? He wants to help make it better. You're hungry and at work with back-to-back meetings? He wants to bring you lunch. Sure, all of these things we can figure out on our own, but a man who really likes you wants to figure it out with/for you.

Just as I hit enter to start sign #3, my phone buzzes. It's a text from Maya.

"Girllllllll" she writes.

Approximately two weeks of hooking up with her roommate things started to head south. Apparently after a romantic night watching the sun rise, the two professed their feelings for one another. The next day he acted like the conversation never happened and has been avoiding her ever since.

"What happened?" I respond, though I see her text bubble loading. I return to my computer...

3. His Memory Always Surprises You

If he remembers that small random detail you mentioned that one time over drinks chances are he's into you. Why? Because he's listening and a man who listens is a man who cares. Now of course everyone forgets some stuff, it's impossible to store every piece of information we learn about a person, but the more he knows about you the more he can show up for you. And a man who shows up for you? Well that's a sign that --

4. He Stands On Business

Writers like to use the phrase "show don't tell" when it comes to just about anything. A man should essentially do the same, okay? Less talk, more action! Because if a man likes you, his actions will let you know. He won't rely solely on words to prove his affection, when he can just show you. He's consistent with his actions too. They don't switch up once the "honeymoon" phase ends; if anything they grow in strength as time evolves...

My phone buzzes again, and instead of getting a 3-page essay from Maya, it's actually a message from Miles. Talk about unexpected. Last time I heard from him was the night he had to reschedule our first date which was weeks ago. In all honesty, I didn't think I'd hear from him again and yet...

"Hey. I'm finally settled back in LA. You still open to dinner?"

My thumbs hover over my phone's keyboard. I type out Let's do it then hit send when my phone buzzes again - this time it is Maya with a 4-minute voice note. I'll listen after I finish...

5. Your Gut is in Good Health

AKA trust your intuition. It never lies. Like ever. So if you're ever confused about how he feels, there's probably a reason why. They say men are straight forward: if they like you, you'll know, but if you're not sure, then they don't.

If you're second guessing his intentions, take a beat and give yourself some space. Let the feelings spill out and journal them down. When he reaches out, go on back to #1.

Honorable Mentions:

He Wants You To Meet His Friends, He Talks About A Future (With You), He Calls You With Good News

Editor's Note: No matter how much a man is or isn't into you, always remember to stay focused on your own path. The right one will help clear it for you.

I open up Maya's text and press play.

"Girllllllll this mother fucker had someone over last night!"

Until next time...